Eliana’s first word was bunny. Ehsan didn’t talk at all until, at nearly 3, he said a whole line that only mama could understand, ‘Panda bears eat bamboo.’ I can’t remember what Ezzy’s first word was, probably because she was very busy scowling at us.
But Eloisa’s first words were mask and charger, pronounced without the ‘r’. She moved from baby to toddler in the pandemic, having turned two in February.
This is a kid who is potty training herself, who drags the kitchen stool to the counter for a banana. This is a kid who plays happily at my feet with Calico Critters and their camper while I work, who is happy to just be in our orbit.
Yesterday, I looked at my schedule with frustration. Back to back Zoom meetings. No passing periods. Stretching would have to happen during calls. As a literacy coach pre-pandemic I never split days, but the virtual world has allowed me to splice schools together with hours allotted to teachers geographically far apart. With Chicago weather predicted to stay sunny in the 60s, I took a moment to lament being tethered to the screen. I frowned. I looked at my Google calendar again and wrote the meetings out on a post-it note.
Sometimes Ezzy, our 5-year-old, likes to cross my completed meeting’s off my list, likely because it’s satisfying but more because she knows when they’re done, we can play together, or I’ll turn my attention to reading her a book. We often paint.
This particular morning, Eloisa felt her mother’s vibe. She toddled over to me, carrying Saturday by Oge Mora, a book about spending special Saturdays with a mother who has to work all week (Did I mention Eloisa is quite meta?). I swiveled on the desk stool, careful not to knock over my second cup of morning coffee.
“Mama woke call?” she asked.
I picked her up and kissed her face. “Yup aziz, Mama work calls.”
On one hand, it breaks my heart that my baby’s development and words are intertwined with my own push and pull between work and home. I have forever tried to compartmentalize.
On the other hand, I’m learning this: there is no such thing as work-life balance. There is only work-life harmony.
Slice of Life, Day 10
Ack, this! "On the other hand, I’m learning this: there is no such thing as work-life balance. There is only work-life harmony." Maybe modeling that is a gift to our kids? At least you like your job- I imagine finding that harmony would be harder in a job you hated. So hard!
Lovely — I used to keep my life as compartmentalized as possible. Then I let my storylines start speaking to one another. What resulted was my book, Enticing Hard-to-Reach writers. Harmony is worth pursuing. I’m glad you’re writing.
Shine on,
Ruth
I love this post. Your "woke calls" are important! One of my good friends and mom-mentor told me early on that it was important for my daughter (and now my son too) to see me going off to work because it lets them see that their mom has important work to do, and models for them what it looks like to love your work. I think about that a lot the older they get.
That pulled at the heart strings. What a sweetheart! It’s so good to write down these moments so you don’t forget them when the kids are grown.
First, I enjoyed meeting Eloisa virtually today! I think it’s wonderful that you’re finding a way to bring her into your world. Most adults understand that our kids are around us when we’re working from home. It’s hard to balance. Finding harmony is a smarter way to think of it!
Thank you for this beautiful image as icing on the cake. You describe each of your children with such a lovingly light touch. An important meditation on what it means to be working, a mom, and a working mom all in the middle of a pandemic.
Yes to all of the comments! And also yes to the youngest children who are happy to be in our orbit. When we go on a long walk, you’ll love some of my girls’ reflections about what they remember and what they don’t. LOVE the points that Beth makes–she’s spot on!
I’m going to hang onto your work-life harmony idea. It’s beautiful.
This is a COVID diary entry, to be sure–and a testament to being a working mother. I love the descriptions of each of your children, the acknowledgement of their different personalities and strengths. Thank you for the new perspective on this very different way of working, too; I like the term "work-life harmony".